#which means I can’t afford it
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As an artist I wanna commission other artists but I’m also an artist so I can make my own art but I want to commission other artists but I-
#I just love other styles!#and especially love the people who live off their work#which means I can’t afford it#that is not hate! they charge what their art is worth and I love that for them#it just means that I can’t afford 180+ for something dope. imma start saving.#oh yeah if anyone wants to do an art trade I’d really love that#feeling creative and we can have fun!#or yk tag me in your comms so I can stare at them
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So anyway you repeatedly say we only feel corn husks and similar inedible parts to cattle but Never add a source to back it up. Having worked on farms I’m afraid for the most part the feeds I’ve seen have been parts entirely edible to humans. And like fuck man 5% of all grown soy is fed to humans or however the stat goes, do you really think the remaining 95% is inedible? really?
Anyway yeah I’m asking for a source here cause I don’t want to add this on to months old post
Ingredients such as “grain by-products” are referring to the husks, stalks, and other “green” parts of the plant that we humans don’t actually have the digestive capabilities to eat. The breakdown of most livestock feeds looks like the above when you actually take a look at it.
Different cattle feed, similar ingredients. Still primarily things that, and I have to stress this, you cannot eat. This one is slightly higher in quality and does indeed have actual grain products included. Some of those are edible to humans. Some are not. Generally cattle are fed cattle cubes with supplemental mineral licks and hay. Some also supplement with whole corn, but I can gladly assure you that corn is not in short supply and even if all the corn sold to animal feed was donated to the poor, you can’t actually live off of corn because there’s very little nutrition in it. Hence why in both human and animal food it’s typically seen as a filler ingredient. Keeps the mouth busy with a meal without making your stomach feel full and you end up eating more without feeling satisfied.
Soybeans are really only often used in feed for pigs because they’re a great source of protein for these animals. I would state that soy is also a terrible option to use as an emergency food for humans in need because while, yes, it is indeed a healthy bean, it’s also one of the top eight foods that humans are frequently allergic or intolerant towards. I’d also ask you for whether your 5% of all grown soy statistic is referring to the beans or the entire plant because yeah the beans are the edible part. The rest of the plant isn't especially healthy for humans to eat. I would say the beans are around 5% of a mature soy plant sure.
#No offense anon but when you come here with ACTUALLY MOST OF WHAT FARM COWS EAT IS HUMAN FOOD and bring up SOY in the discussion of COWS#I somewhat doubt you actually have much experience farming#because no actually cattle benefit from the green parts of the plant more than the bean parts in most cases#corn is used as a cheap supplemental feed because it’s cheap and it’s cheap because there’s so so SO much of it#And corn isn’t grown in special livestock only plantations when it’s used as feed as opposed to human food either#corn is grown en masse and processed and then sold to various companies which use the corn for various things#if animal feed companies stopped buying corn and that corn was instead bought by human food companies#that doesn’t mean corn would be any more or less accessible to the hungry#because it would go to grocery stores and TV dinner companies and sauce companies and soda companies and so on#and it would still be sold same as always#world hungerTM isn’t caused because people can’t afford corn#corn is dirt cheap and most people can afford it#it’s just barely a step above eating sand and you can’t live off of it#I’ve gone a few days only eating corn products because they were cheap#and shocking no one I had no energy and felt just as hungry after each bowl as I had before the last#people cannot survive off of that#giving corn to livestock isn’t taking away any resource of value from humans#sorry it just isn’t
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How do u manage ur work life along with ur passion of writing fanfiction?
i work part time from home as a python & js dev so i can technically never touch grass again if i really wanted to
#asks#the hours are really wild because i’m european and it’s an american company#i also don’t live alone#so it’s pretty okay#i have asd and i’m getting pretty burnt out tho so unfortunately it’s looking closer towards welfare in the future#which said person keeps encouraging but the form i sent in months ago for an assessment of such a thing is taking a while to get back :(#can’t afford otherwise to quit until that comes back tho so we are on the grind#i didn’t mean to trauma dump in tags oops
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:/
#ok kids. lesson of the day#don’t try to argue with your bank app at 3am#bc your card WILL get blocked if you put the wrong code in too many times#this is a problem for Monday Me but.. urgh#in other news: family health? not great#not great indeed#mum can barely walk#dad is on new meds#it’s a mess#also. the vet. I forgot about the vet bill#and the trash collecting tax#and the gas issue I have at home#..alright. I may have a few problems here#I think I’ll skip the GP this time around#I’ll handle the pain#can’t afford a specialist rn#anyway.. my break is here.#the hiatus is mini but mighty#which means that I am locking in bc I need to focus#you all take care while I’m away ok?#sneaky niki
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.
#also not to make everything about ttpd#but this just kind of reaffirms to me that there is a different ~vibe~ in how the various muses/relationships are written about on the album#in the public lashing vs care in spite of the pain of it all#and again not defending any man in this situation#but again i think there’s a very different outlook/perception of these people in the music#and this person’s own words kind of reflect that too#which like yes is a privilege he gets that she isn’t afforded because he had the luxury of nursing wounds in private#idk what I’m saying it’s just that…#the vibes are they went through A Lot and there’s probably a lot of shared pain as well as personal pain#and just because i think someone is like… mid and probably still doesn’t really grasp how badly he hurt his partner#doesn’t mean that they can’t also experience the grief that comes with losing the relationship#even if their actions caused it#idk I’m tired and wordy
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ok. moving out update. today i:
talked to my beloved ex supervisor / mentor (<- SCARY!!!!!) to ask her about her experiences living by herself esp as a short woman (which is not a big deal except for how it is + how my parents think it is) and get her advice abt how to navigate that experience psychologically and practically. i asked her if we could talk abt this very impulsively on thursday after not having the courage to do it for almost a year btw (<- BRAVE!!!!!!!!) and i was still too scared / embarrassed to ask her some stuff abt safety / self defense lol but it mostly went really well!
started making a budget and determined that a) i may be getting overpaid somehow (😳) b) i may be getting double or even triple charged for my health and life insurance (😒) so now i need to call hr on monday and figure all of that out. and also c) i suck at math but we knew that. but i forced myself to figure out what i did wrong so that’s an achievement
made my first ever student loan payment 😀🔫
booked a tour of one apartment and attempted to book a tour of another (the same place i was looking at in may) but their website was glitching out and then they didn’t answer when i called to schedule it over the phone which. hm. 😒 but yeah the tour(s) will happen mid week next week and im going to ride the shuttle to the apartment complex(es) and back to campus to see what that’s like too!
posted on local subr*ddit asking for recommendations for those two apartments + other places in the area. haven’t gotten anything back bc i just made the post but ��👍
read a bunch of old journal entries from 2021 to remind myself of what it was like to move onto campus and how i pushed through my family’s hurt and disapproval to live the way i needed to. haven’t finished reading it all yet but i will tomorrow (while also doing my stupid homework 🙄)
#purrs#i really hope im not being overpaid lol. because if i am being overpaid that means i can’t afford to move out 😍 but my paystubs#are saying thats how much im making every week and it is… significantly more then im supposed to be making which is absolutely not a bad#thing i just don’t understand why it’s happening + want to make sure it’s supposed to be happening so that i don’t depend on an error that#would devastate me when remedied yk. but yeah. also i haven’t factored car stuff into any of this yet sooooo erm. we’ll see what happens#anyways uhm this is kind of crazy like. i am really making a concerted effort to try to move out. SOON. and my family doesn’t know.#chuckles im in danger but also….. tess pepprs epic girlboss redemption arc i think. i am doing big scary things and i can do them. fuck yeah#like. i don’t have to live like this anymore. i can change it TODAY. i have that power. i have done my time. i’m ready to fly and no one can#stop me. i will not be held back anymore. i’m going to live the life of my wildest dreams and i’m on the brink of beginning it.
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no lie i kind of just want to give up on everything rn
#my car was fucking stolen which is just the most recent in a long line of bullshit happenings#and my insurance isn’t gonna help with anything and i’m just so fucking tired#three close family members died after break. started having ptsd attacks. can’t afford my meds which means i don’t sleep hardly at all#i don’t know how to do this any more#delete later
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My bank account is looking rough. But luckily! I am still someone with multiple hundreds of dollars of money in my account even as first of the month money replenish is forever away :( so honestly it is time of scrounging on groceries for the sake of being able to buy 4-5 days worth of booze literally whenever
#luke.txt#drunkposting#when I primarily used my parents’ money my parents were all like you can’t afford alcohol!!!‼︎#well now that not all my disability money goes to rent I can budget how I want which means alcohol is slot one groceries is slot two#food delivery is slot 3 and slot 4 is like. the wild possible things for pleasure that don’t go in my body#dalinar says this btw! in the au where Dalinar isn’t rich
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good lord my brain is running laps and i just wanna knock it out and get some goddamn sleep
#apparently just bc I figured it out my brain still isn’t gonna chill out#now i’m stuck between do i communicate and embarrass myself#in hopes that it calms down the fears that i’m already aware are probably irrational#or do i do my best to ignore it and hope my brain chills out on its own soon#and that in the meantime i don’t do my go-to moves when i overthink something#which are running away or getting mean#(not like. mean mean. but snarky. and a little harsh and irritable)#bc no one has done anything wrong!#myself included so far!#my brain just will not let go of this stupid fear#and it’s the same fucking fear that has haunted me on and off through every era of my life#i WILL NOT isolate myself or push people away that’s wildly counterproductive#and honestly i find it mind boggling that that’s even a response bc IT MAKES NO SENSE#anyway everything is changing and it’s fucking me up big time#there’s too many things changing all at once and tbh i’m fucking terrified#and this just happened to be the thing that finally pushed me into ‘cant fucking deal with this’ territory#and nothing has even changed! it’s all in my head right now!!!#it’s so fucking frustrating to know something intellectually but your emotions are off doing their own shit#‘you can’t think away emotions’ I CAN FUCKING TRY#it comes down to fear and anger at that fear and anger at change#i’m so angry and there’s nowhere to direct that anger#being angry at a concept or the very passage of time is just so unsatisfying and annoying#*change as a#personal#i’d say sorry for the vent posts but i can’t afford therapy so#and this is the next best thing
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Traditional artists already aren’t believed that our art is done traditionally and it doesn’t help that digital art is tagged as traditional now
#like do you guys not know what that word means or are you purposely not letting us have a tag#I always include my colored pencils in the image w the drawing to indicate that I used those#and people just like. don’t believe that. artists n non artists alike can’t conceive of someone drawing w pencils. esp if it’s like. good#and u can like. see the texture of pencil in my art. and still it’s always oh what digital program do u use#bc not only does art in general mean digital. traditional art also means digital#anyways u don’t need expensive technology to be an artist#if u can afford pencil n paper (which not everyone can) that’s just as artistic as procreate or photoshop#the bright side of this is that when I do see traditional art I’m like (sickos) yes!! hahaha YES!!!#mine#txt#traditional art
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Lays my wing over you. What's got you anxious, hermanito?
Assignments, finances, future plans, etc. it’s all just compounding — not to mention my actual physical health has been really weird and not good lately??? I haven’t been able to sleep properly and I’m not quite sure what’s going on with that in particular. I’m hoping that once I get these last few assignments out of the way I’ll start to perk up again, but jeez I’m tired
#blehhgh#I mean I’m ASSUMING this is why I’m anxious#and it’s just feedback looping at the minute#we will forge onward as always#also haven’t been eating much lately like less than usual#partly because I can’t really afford to when I’m living alone but also I just haven’t been having a good food relationship recently#which I’m only uhhhh just the past few days thinking more carefully about#^ probably a contributor to feeling so tired#whaddevar#is this a vent post? does this count as a vent?#nyermmmmmmm#shrug :]]#Ty for asking also :>
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really wish there was a tag that separated “I’m having Big Angry and/or Angsty Opinions about Star Wars” from “I’m goofing off with Star Wars I’m playing in the sandbox none of this is real so yes I will make my blorbo and this random glub shitto go on an adventure that makes no logical sense” posts because there’s too much of the former and not enough of the latter for my current mental state
#starlight personal#the good news is that I finally have another ketamine appt scheduled and it’s sooner than I thought they’d have an opening#the bad news is that the appointment is not tomorrow and we’re kinda at the end of my mental-emotional rope#now kids this is what we call: an inherent flaw in my treatment plan that cannot be removed#because pretty much in an ideal world I’d have ketamine appointments every 6 weeks but 1) expensive and probs can’t afford that#2) they don’t have enough availability for that to be realistic 3) can’t take off of work THAT frequently without consequences#4) I would probably start to doubt reality if I was tripping that frequently 5) I don’t think docs would allow it#treatment resistant depression and anxiety my beloathed if we could just chill that’d be great#treatment resistant PMDD my other beloathed someday I will do my damnedest to cut you out of my body#idk not to be too selfpitying on main but god it fucking sucks that I appear to be doomed to another cycle based mood thing#PMDD means I get two good weeks two bad weeks#ketamine being the only effective treatment for whatever my brain’s got going on means two good months followed by x bad months#until my next appointment#which like! two good months is better than no good months I am grateful that something helps#I just wish it was a more convenient help and it could be applied more consistently than my psych office provides#also wish I didn’t have to call them 3 times to get it scheduled but it is what it is#also also wish that I had fewer of the physical side effects of my anxiety and wouldn’t wake up puking the min things are rough#this is all to say: I want silly SW headcanons and droid headcanons and silly fic ideas and not Everyone is Always Suffering#but I’m also too lazy (I.e brain cannot make decisions rn) to search for new tags that may give me more silly#which means time to browse my bookmarks for good good comfort fics I have saved I suppose#(this is lowkey why i want to physically fight everyone i know who’s like ‘yeah meds would help but idk :/‘ like!!!!!!!!#bro it’s a privilege to have access to meds and it’s a privilege to have a body that doesn’t turn on you the min you take one!!!!#just try 10mg of zoloft I would kill for 10mg of zoloft to not make me entirely incapable of functioning!!!)#I don’t mean that - you have a right to take or not take medication and everyone’s reasons may be their own#I just had my body and have some rough feelings around treating my issues being so expensive and inconvenient#and then feeling guilty b/c I know I’m lucky that I can afford it and can take off of work for it when I need to#like I am pretty lucky to have something that works and to have a care team that helped me get here#so I don’t wanna be ungrateful or unappreciative of my own luck in this and the work that went into getting here#I’d just also like it if I could change the circumstances slightly#make treatment on the weekends an option - get my psych office to have more than 2 trip sitters so scheduling isn’t so bad
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tbh i think it’s so funny that if Kusuo were real, he’d be a year older than me
#kusuo is canonically in his late 20’s!!!#age wise we had a similar experience I guess. Same geopolitical events were happening at that time#But totally different perspective obvs#idk. it honestly probably doesn’t make much difference#especially considering the cultural difference#but I like that Kusuo also didn’t get any modern touch technology of his own until his late teens#like yaaay me too!#I too staunchly and stubbornly refused to get an iphone. not that I had the money to get it myself anyways. Also like Kusuo!#who gets an allowance as a teen (which i didn’t get) but to be fair#that’s probably thanks to Kuusuke#indirectly anyways. considering they can’t afford the house they live in and only have it because of him#what am I rambling about#anyways#yeah I relate to Kusuo a lot#He is out there a depressed twenty something looking for meaning in his life I just know it#and of course. The meaning is connecting with other people#rargh screaming crying erc#*etc
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I love living in the United States. I definitely don’t feel trapped or helpless in the face of what could be very minor circumstances!
#I’m sick and poor#which means I can’t go to work#but if I don’t go to work I can’t afford to get better#I’m lucky that my parents are somewhat better off than I am#and that they want what’s best for me#but still#I’d rather not have to rely on my parents as an adult for something that could be handled by the hundreds of dollars of taxes that I pay#that the gov does very little good with#not whump#just venting
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#I can’t get my tablet to connect to Wi-Fi#which means I can’t access any of my digital artwork anywhere but my tablet#or back any files up#and I am so frustrated I could cry#I cannot afford to fix or replace this fucking thing#but also I need it for both work-work and personal work#it was fine earlier#and I get that in the grand scheme of things this sounds like such a petty problem#but everything in my life has been such a mess this year#that it kind of feels like the last straw
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ahhh 🫣
#30 today#i really will miss 29 i liked that age#all these pandemic birthdays though have just flown by like I don’t really remember my late 20s when i think about it rn#law school didn’t help with that haha but eh whatever#i miss liking my birthday not like I’m afraid to get older by any means (other than that weird feeling of no longer in my 20s)#which is mostly just hoping I didn’t waste it all away#i just need one of these jobs to pan out like I feel like I’m on autopilot lately and it’s not fun#i don’t want to do anything grand with life#but just wanna try and enjoy it more?? ugh once again why can’t we live with universal basic income#if i could afford to make coffee all day i would keep doing that tbh#katie.txt
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